The Challenge of Change
“We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance” quoted by Garry Jenkins in 'Harrison Ford: Imperfect Hero'
Change happens. Change is inevitable. Sometimes we crave change and view it very positively, sometimes it is forced upon us and we fight against it until we accept it and discover that it brings benefits we had not previously imagined. At times change affects our immediate environment and personal life, at others it is a very general change affecting a whole community, a whole country. A general change can create a sense of ‘togetherness’ but a more specific, personal change can be very isolating. Either way, change means adapting to new situations and letting go of the familiar. Unless we are the type of person who longs for excitement, danger, unpredictability, we prefer the security of routine, of the ‘known’, of what we consider to be safe.
When we are the ones to instigate change, we may long for it at one level and yet fear it at another. When we instigate change, we have to take responsibility for the consequences. There is the fear of ‘what if this is the wrong thing to do?’. This is because with any change (however positive) there is a period of readjustment, of proving to ourselves that we have done the right thing, of dealing with the loss of the familiar. We need to acknowledge that even a desired change can be stressful.
When we do not instigate change, but it is forced upon us – bereavement, unemployment, illness, failed relationships, loss of home, there is a huge sense of loss which may necessitate a period of grieving and readjustment. It is often said that it is not so much what happens to us that is important but how we deal with what life sends us. There are countless examples of people who have been dealt a heavy blow in life and who with sheer determination fight their way out of a black hole to create new, amazing lives for themselves. Specifically, people who have suffered devastating injuries, sometimes even being crippled or partially paralysed, who then go on to achieve things that more able-bodied people would never even attempt! However, there is no doubt that they will have fought their way through very dark times to achieve their objectives.
One of the difficulties with a change that is imposed upon us and involves loss, is dealing with the period when we have nothing to replace the vacuum with. A grey ‘space’ of being in-between the old and the new. This can apply to losing ones employment – currently of great concern to many. As our minds try to assimilate the facts, deal with the disappointment, the fear of financial difficulties, adapt to the vacuum, it can be an exhausting and debilitating time. However, if we can see this ‘emptiness’ as an ‘in the meantime’ experience while we create a new reality and trust that this is possible and may bring us long-term benefits that we had never imagined, it can be easier to deal with.
Recently, at a time of rising unemployment, there have been many reports of people looking for ways to change their whole careers. Applications for teacher training courses have increased enormously since the beginning of the year. Some who have been made redundant say that they are so much happier now because they are exploring ways to do something they have always really wanted to do. However, I am not minimising the huge worries of having financial responsibilities (especially for other people).
Dealing with any change is a challenge. If you are choosing the change, be aware that you may encounter periods of second thoughts, of doubts, of missing the familiar. This is perfectly alright and part of the process. If the change is forced upon you, acknowledge the sense of loss, the floundering, the possible anger. However, also trust that there will be options, opportunities that can lead you to a place you had never imagined that may be far better than where you have come from. Be open to possibility. If necessary, practise acceptance. Acceptance that this is the way things are at the moment. In time and with determination, they will improve.
With hindsight, people who have emerged from very difficult times often look back and say that if it hadn’t been for the Challenge of Change, they would not have achieved what they have. Be aware that you always have options, even if they are just in how you perceive things to be.
© Monika Key 2009
This article first appeared in a Focal Vocal newsletter - http://www.focalvocal.co.uk/
