New Year, Same Old You?
How to make this year work for you!
I’m not suggesting that there is anything wrong with the ‘same, old you’. I’m not even suggesting you are ‘old’. However, many of us decide that the New Year is the time to improve or change aspects of our lives. Sadly, before the end of January most people will have given up on their ‘resolutions’, or even forgotten what they were. If you are one of them, it’s never too late to start, so……
How can we make ‘resolutions’ or set goals that are more likely to create a successful outcome for us?
Here are some steps to help you on your way:
- Respect yourself. Be positive about yourself. Think about what is already great about you. Don’t be modest! If you can’t think of anything, ask someone else and accept their compliments with a genuine “Thank you!”. Then think of why you deserve to succeed with your resolutions. Many people give up too easily or don’t even try because they don’t really believe they deserve to earn more money, have a great relationship, have fun, be slim, relax, laugh etc. You ARE worth it! This self- belief will increase your motivation to succeed.
- Expect the best. Think positive. If you are already seeing yourself failing before you begin - “I never stick to my resolutions”, “They never work”, try changing what you are saying to yourself. “I am learning new ways of making resolutions” “I am strong enough to stick to my resolutions”.
- Sort out your priorities.If you already know what you want to change, skip this section. If you just have a general feeling of something missing in your life, but aren’t sure what it is, then look at the overall picture of the different aspects of your life – your relationships, your career, your family, your finances, your health, your leisure time, your spirituality, your personal and/or work environment. Think of one thing you would like to improve in each area. Something that would really enhance your life. Rank them in order of priority and determine to take some action with at least one . What could you do that if you did it well and with commitment would really improve that area of your life? Don’t choose to do too many things at once. Stick to a manageable programme.
- Outcome is what you are after. Imagine the positive outcome of your resolution. Instead of thinking of deprivation e.g. “I don’t smoke cigarettes any more”, think about WHY you don’t. “I want to live longer. I want to look younger. I want to breathe more easily. I want to have more energy. I want my family to be proud of me. I want to save money for a great holiday. My eyes shine.” Make a written list of all the positive consequences and benefits of your resolution. Keep reading it!! Keep reinforcing the positive outcomes.
- Look at the reality. Be realistic but at the same time optimistic. If it is unrealistic (and possibly unhealthy) to lose 2 stone in one month, then make your goal more manageable and realistic. Break it down into small chunks. That way you are more likely to succeed and your motivation will be greater.
- Understand what obstacles are likely to get in the way? It may well rain and be cold . How can you get round the temptation to stay cosily in the warm when your resolution was to go for a brisk, 20 minute walk every day? Do you want results or reasons? By thinking about the things that could block your progress and being prepared to counter-attack, you are well on your way to success.
- Timing is important. Be specific about when you want to achieve your goal “I have saved £500 by June 2006” is more of an incentive than “I don’t smoke any more”. “I have lost 2lb by the end of January”. “I fit into that outfit by my friend’s wedding”. Write the steps you intend to take into your diary. Put post-it notes around to keep you on track.
- Intend to succeed. Your positive intention is vital! Visualise yourself having successfully achieved your goal/resolution. What do you look like? What are people saying to you? What do you feel like? What are you doing? Research shows that our chances of success increase greatly by following this step as our subconscious starts to work for us and to look for things that will help us!
- Organise yourself. Make a plan. Write down the steps. Set the dates. Work out what help you need. Do you need more information? Who can support you?
- Never, ever give up!!! Be prepared for set-backs but don’t let them allow you to give up! So what if you slip back into an old habit? Habits take effort to break. Acknowledge that you have strayed from your goal, but get back on track. It is never too late to start again. Keep the original outcome in mind/view. It will be worth it. Don’t let a set-back become an excuse.
Most importantly TAKE ACTION! Without this nothing will change.
© Monika Key 2006
This article first appeared in a local magazine,The Tudor Grapevine
