Setting and Achieving your Goals
"You are never too old to set another goal” (C.S.Lewis)
Did you lie on a beach last Summer with dreams of how you were going to change your life when you came back from holiday? Did you make some resolutions at New Year with a vision of how you wanted to be, or what you wanted to have or do? If you are honest with yourself, how much of this have done, changed, achieved?
If you are like most people, these thoughts will still be just a vision, a dream. How do you change these insights into reality? How do you really create the change in your life that you crave?
Firstly, if you have recurring thoughts about what you want to change in your life, don’t ignore them. They are valid and are there for a reason. Keep a note of them. Have you had persistent thoughts about what you could do but never get round to doing? What are they?
Trust that you know what you need to be happy. You deserve to be happy. Firstly, you need to identify what the ingredients for your happiness are. Make a list of what would enhance your life. Add it to the list of ‘thoughts’ you get from time to time about what you would like. You can edit your list at any time. However, don’t ignore it.
According to Forrest Gump’s mama “life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.” That is true, but especially so if we don’t make any plans or set goals. Then we will have to accept whatever comes our way, with little control over the outcome. Of course, there are many things we have no control over except for how we react to them. Why not take some control over your life by setting some goals?
If you want to get the soft, fruit-centred chocolate, you firstly need to know that that is what you want and then you have to make a plan to get it! That is why it is important to spend some time looking at what would improve your life and then taking the action to achieve it.
In terms of life coaching, a goal is a dream with a date on it! Having established a list of what would enhance your life, prioritise it. What one thing would improve your life? What could you change? What could you remove from your life? What drains your energy that you don’t need? Identify something positive you could do and then decide WHEN you are going to do it. Maybe it is something big that can’t be tackled in one go. Break it down into stages. What is one action you could take to get you started? Write it down. Put it in your diary and DO IT!
We can think and plan in our heads as much as we like, but unless we take some ACTION nothing will change. Then do something towards your goal EVERY DAY – no matter how small!
If you find you are still not doing anything, try and work out why. Maybe you really like the negatives you are getting out of a situation because at least it is familiar. Maybe you are comfortable with what you are tolerating. In that case, work out if the benefits of accepting the situation outweigh the benefits of change. If not, you need to find a way to make the change comfortable. Focus on the positives of your action. List the benefits to keep you motivated. Do you need to enlist someone’s help? Are you trying not to rock the boat? Do other people gain from you staying the way you are and therefore don’t support or encourage you to change? What blocks are there and how can you deal with them?
What negative thoughts are getting in your own way? We talk to ourselves in ways that we wouldn’t dream of talking to other people. Support yourself with positive talk. Challenge your negative talk. What is the evidence for it? Why be so hard on yourself? You really are good enough to deserve a happy life.
Please don’t let this be another article that hopefully at least makes you nod in some agreement because it all sounds like a good idea. If you want any positive change in your life whether in terms of your health, finances, relationships, career, environment, fun, spirituality
- Identify what you want (realistically)
- Believe you deserve it
- Make a plan
- TAKE THE ACTION
A Life Coach can help you …
- Set positive, realistic, achievable goals
- Improve your life/work balance
- Achieve your career and personal goals
- Enhance your relationships
- Make more time for yourself
- Remove life’s clutter
- Decide what to do next to have the life you want!
© Monika Key
This article first appeared in a local magazine,The Tudor Grapevine
